[3:37 pm thoughts continued...] I now wake up every morning at 6:30 am in order to talk to you. Yes, you are the first person I talk to each morning. It works perfectly because I don't actually need to use my voice [*wink*]. This new life of work I'm slowly getting used to. Sometimes actually I start to resent it, and feel like moving back to Toronto where things are simpler is the answer to all of this. It's not easy on my own trying to make something of myself with no concrete path on how to get there [where ever 'there' is]. However, It's pretty incredible what this city forces you to learn in such a short time frame. Like walking out of my house at 8:00 am rather than 8:02 am makes a huge difference on whether or not I get to work on time or an umbrella is a must have in this city, especially when it's snowing. 

Earlier today I was looking through my "Rest + Bar" list on my iPhone. I have friends in town for Fashion Week, and it was my job to book a speakeasy for later tonight. While I was scrolling through for other possible bars I might have written elsewhere in my notes, I found a quote dated 9.27.13 "the only way to make it in this city is to keep ur head down & keep working, the min. u look up is the min. you loose". I remember this night so clearly. Elisa and I were eating dinner at the Soho House with some pretty successful and incredible people. And here they were, giving me advice! It was a night when New York felt like magical things could happen at any moment if you just kept working. I have a weird feeling everything up to now is just my beginning - the real work hasn't even started yet [takes a sip of her coffee]. 

I really don't know where I'm going with this post. I guess I'm just venting and sort of found my reason to stop venting? Ugh I hate how New York always wins.