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When I look back at everything that happened this year I still can't quite wrap my head around it. It was an all consuming year. A year that changed everything. A year that burned away all the things in me that needed to be burned away. And somehow at the very same time all that space was being filled with so much new. I felt like I was on a pendulum constantly swinging from one extreme to the other. One moment I was running around New York meeting with interior design firms I used to dream of sitting down with presenting CKD in a way I never had before. Hand painting massive murals in the Hamptons, Martha’s Vineyard and Boca. The collaborations coming to life in 2027 are projects I was sketching and dreaming about 15 years ago. And then there was the other side of it all. The people I surround myself with have changed completely. I'm living alone in Los Angeles so far away from my family building a life that looks nothing like the one I knew before. There have been moments of incredible excitement followed by moments of uncertainty. Feeling like everything is coming together while simultaneously feeling like everything I once knew has fallen away. It's a strange thing to experience so much growth and so much change at the same time. To be living parts of a life you once dreamed about, while also having to let go of so much of the life you used to know.
I'm learning that I don't need to understand every moment while I'm living it. I don't need to control how everything unfolds. I can be excited about where I'm going and still feel the weight of everything I've left behind. Maybe that's what this year has really been about. Learning to make room for both. For the beautiful and the uncomfortable. For the things that arrive and the things that leave. For the life I imagined and the life that's actually happening. Become friendly with what is.
