// Photo: 2014, Sunday night.
At 4 pm the restaurant closes down to set up for dinner at 5 pm. It's summer in New York and the sweat under my white Maple Leafs hat had made its way to my face. That hat still smells like food, the restaurant was small and the smell the food left on me was heavy. 5 pm set up was simple; sweep the floors, put away the coffee, restock the fridge, clean the tables, refill the salt and pepper, clean the windows, refill the ice. Which I always hated because ice is heavy and I had to climb a tiny spiral staircase from the basement to get it. 4 pm set up was my favourite time. The restaurant was tucked away in the West Village with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the most handsome streets, and I had it all to myself. It was 2014 and Nico & Vinz "Am I Wrong" was popular on the radio. Whenever it came on I would turn it up grab the broom as my mic and literally dance around the restaurant while I cleaned. For those 4 and something minutes life felt right.
This morning I woke up with my usual feelings, slightly out of place, anxious, scared, and uncomfortable. I've been climbing new mountains and they just keep getting harder. I turned on apple radio and "Am I Wrong" came on. I turned it up and was brought right back to 2014 broom in hand, sweat dripping down my face. If only I could show that sweaty backwards hat dancing waitress what she'll accomplish three years later. It's hard to follow your heart. The only thing hard about it is keeping yourself in the right mental space. Focused and completely connected. But, there's no denying how alive it makes you feel. The places it will take you, the people you'll meet, and what you'll accomplish will be greater than anything you can imagine. Because of that ckd will keep pushing, slightly uncomfortable, out of place, scared, and anxious.
